On Bugs and the Love of God
Earlier this week I was down at the main house of the Madonna House Apostolate (as opposed to the priest retreat house) waiting for a brother priest so we could ride up to the retreat house. I noticed some beautiful flowers and went over to have a closer look. As I drew close I noticed a number of bugs chomping away on a few of the plants. I noticed that the leaves had been consumed from the entire top of the plants as the bugs were slowly eating their way down from the top. I watched for several minutes and could see them eating but the bites were so small they were almost indiscernible, and yet the leaves were entirely gone on the top of the plant. It made me think of just how many little things in my daily life nibble away at my soul - creature comforts, emphasis on productivity, rushed prayers, bad habits and sins. How many little ‘bites’ they have taken out of my soul that are slowly, indiscernibly quenching the fiery love of God in my heart!
Catherine Doherty, who founded the Madonna House Apostolate, was a rather prolific writer in her day. I recently read one of her works entitled Strannik, which means ‘pilgrim’ in a Russian. In it she speaks of how often pilgrims are called to pilgrimage and they follow the call but they don’t know why they are there. While the Lord certainly has much in store for me of which I am yet unaware, I do know that there is one thing He wants of me during this pilgrimage upon which I find myself: to be set ablaze. It is for that reason that I chose to come here first instead of immediately starting the Camino in Spain. Here I have had some time to ‘come aside and rest a while’ as the Apostles of the Lord were called to do. This rest has taken various forms - extra prayer time, a good bit of reading, meals with the community and fellow guests, chopping wood, stacking wood, prepping vegetables for meals, and moments spent simply enjoying the beauty of the Madawaska Valley. And yet it is all rest for the soul. It is a time to try to rekindle the fire.
In the Gospel for today (20th Sunday of Ordinary Time) the Lord speaks about how He came to set the world on fire and how He wished it were already ablaze. His Sacred Heart burns with love for us and He longs to have that love set our hearts on fire for love of Him as well. This is my hope - to burn with love for God. This Tuesday I will have the grace of going to Poustinia, the Russian word for desert. There are little cabins set aside here for more intense times of prayer. They are likened to a desert because it is the person alone with God. The individual arrives at the door of the little cabin with a jug of water, loaf of bread, and a Bible (and for me a Breviary) with the sole intention of prayer, fasting, and reading the Word of God. As I go to spend that time with the Lord know that each of you reading this will be carried there in my heart. Just inside the door of this retreat house is a little sign from Catherine’s poem ‘What is a priest?’. It says ‘The heart of a priest is open like Christ’s for the whole world to walk through.’ And so, for all of you who have walked into my life - my heart - I will be praying for you and your intentions and ask your prayers for me too.
Later this week I will be driving to Brooklyn, NY for the Solemn Profession of Vows of one of my spiritual daughters, Sr. Marie Trône du Roi. This is essentially her wedding day, when she becomes a true bride of Christ. It is sure to be a most beautiful occasion. From there I will head to Cincinnati to visit with my family for a day or so before heading off to Europe. My Camino commences in 10 days. St. James, pray for me!
